Please excuse me for being blunt but I don't think there is a very polite way to say that Annabelle's older brother, Phillip, is a total menace.

On our way in this morning, Phillip pushed right by my mom and me and stormed into the infant room. He didn't even take his shoes off before he stole a bouncy ball from Conor and started kicking it around the room. When he ran to retrieve it, he almost knocked Conor and me over as we made eyes at one another on the padded mat.

Maybe it's time for the Pre-K room to switch to decaf.

My mom tried to tell me goodbye and that she loved me (we're super close) but Phillip kept interrupting her to tell her that his mom bought him a new basketball shirt. Boooooring! Then, he walked over to Annabelle and told my mom that she was his baby. I caught Annabelle blushing in embarrassment, even though my mom told him that he seemed like a very good big brother.

Mommy and Me

Over the weekend, the learning center hosted a Mommy and Me Day. I guess the invite list was pretty exclusive because only Nia, Stupid Connor (SC) and I attended. Miss Erica helped us make a few crafts - good thing, too, because my mom and I are not the best with a glue stick. The petals we were supposed to stick to our construction paper were so delicious that I hid a few in my chair so that I could snack on them later.

As we infants shared some Cheerios and puffs, our moms' conversation turned to our recent school photos and the most amazing thing happened. SC's mom told the other moms that her baby has the biggest, goofiest head in the whole classroom. Because my mom is a lady at all times, she told SC's mom that SC has a very expressive face but I have a feeling that what she meant to say was, "Good luck, lady. Sloth, there, is going to be living at home with you until he's 45."

 

My school photo

 

Stupid Connor's school photo



  

We are the 99%

The NATO Summit in Chicago this weekend has brought innumerable protesters to town. To show solidarity with our brethren on the streets, those of us in the infant classroom decided we would all have a simultaneous breakdown at 5:15, when our parents came to pick us up from the learning center.

Much like the protesters downtown, our message wasn't completely focused. I was protesting my recently extended tummy time. Molly was protesting that she was forced to wear pants, instead of dresses, while she learned to crawl. Ben was protesting the lack of backup pacifiers in the classroom (duh). Stupid Connor was protesting the extra 'n' in his name. I think Annabelle just wanted to get out of the swing but she might have needed a diaper change.

I deserve so much better than this!

Also like the NATO protesters, our voices went pretty much unheard. One by one, we were shuttled off by our parents with the promise of snack time or a fun weekend when we got home, as if they think they can hold us down forever with Cheerios and sunny trips to the zoo.

Stranger Danger

Let's face it, Miss Miho is tops.  She has a sweet, soft voice and super cute outfits. This morning, Miss Erica pulled my mom aside (less than discreetly, I might add) to let her know that I'm not doing so well with "new" people, like the class picture photographer and the student teacher in our room. Basically, when I meet someone new who doesn't impress me, it takes nothing less than the sight of Miss Miho's leggings to calm me down.

Maybe if more people were like Miss Miho, I'd like more people. We all have our favorites. What can I say? Currently, very few people meet my high standards. Call it a phase, if you will, but I think my selective nature is going to serve me well as I grow up

Besides, hasn't Miss Erica seen "I Know My First Name is Steven" I think small screen star Corin Nemec would agree that a little bit of stranger danger never hurts. 

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Barf

Can we all agree that it is gross when society acts like incest is adorable? Check out the line that Zulily is trying to tempt me with today.

You're dating your own mom? Why would you brag about that?

Maybe the park is a little too inclusive

On sunny days, my mom and dad take me to the park after they pick me up from the learning center. If you've never been to a park, take my word for it, they are awesome. Today, I had a carrot snack picnic, tried the slide and played on the swings. Everyone loves the swings but, if you'll allow me to brag for a moment, I'm probably better at swinging than anyone else in the whole neighborhood. 

There really is something at the park for everyone but I wish it could be a little more exclusive. For example, I'm not sure that the three fifty-somethings who were wearing lab coats and laying under the lamppost smoking really belonged so close to the playground. Not only is their nasty habit bad for my pink little lungs but I think we can all agree that this behavior is just plain creepy. I mean, the park isn't even near a lab. 

Totally mastering the swing. Totally sneezing from the smoke.
Totally photo bombed by that broad in the green.

It's like The Lord of the Flies in there

Is that Jack and Roger I see over there? Because one of the biguns in the toddler room actually bit Mackenzie today. What?!? Who does that?!? This is serious. I thought Miss Muriel was supposed to be teaching those kids to sit still through their fruit salad and use zippers. It turns out she's just throwing a conch in the middle of the reading circle and looking the other way for about eight hours a day.

This is pretty much what happens anytime
Miss Muriel takes a bathroom break.

It's a good thing I got my first tooth this weekend. I only have seven months before I move to the toddler room, myself. I'll need to begin my training, soon.