A very big day, indeed

One year ago today, my mom confused the formula out of me. After twelve weeks of cuddling and enjoying Billy Bush together, she loaded me up in my car seat, brought me to a strange building, told some woman I didn't know something about tummy time and weepily made a beeline for the door. When she picked me up eight hours later, I was so disoriented, angry and exhausted that I didn't even look at her for the rest of the night. I went straight to bed. She made me do the whole thing again the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. All the way up until today.

For the record, I still miss spending my mornings with this guy.

After the first week, my mom stopped crying and I was less exhausted at the end of the day. We both started acting like ourselves again. I started making friends and she started bring home a paycheck. (About time, deadbeat. Way to get credit for doing something you should have been doing all along.) In time, I really started enjoying my Bear time. It has been good to have something just for myself.

I thought my parents would want some time to themselves
but they're always around.

Today, I celebrate my one year anniversary at the learning center with a special announcement. My transition date has been scheduled. I will begin to move from the ranks of Miss Erica to Miss Susan on Monday.

Since I've been knocking on the door and trying to sneak into the toddler room for a couple of weeks, now, Miss Susan believes that I am ready and everything will go smoothly. Miss Erica is less optimistic and keeps telling my mom that it will probably take two full weeks since I like my routine. Blah blah blah.

Honestly, I think Miss Erica is just nervous that she won't be able to handle the infant room without me. Have you seen the latest line up? Sure, Amelia and Emily are most adorbs but Ethan only knows how to sit in a Bumbo seat, you know my feelings on Annabelle and Blake and Ryan are still completely interchangeable. No wonder Miss Erica told my mom I have "the most personality of any of the babies."

Good luck without me in February, Miss Erica. You're going to need it.

Coolio hasn't looked this good since 1995

Methinks Miss Alessandra could use a new hobby. Maybe one that isn't in the cosmetological arts.


I know you're bored and I'm the only infant with hair
but this is getting ridiculous.  

Adding insult to injury - taking it out didn't seem to help much.

Orange striped top, navy and white polka dot pants

When Miss Erica sends a note home saying you need more backup pants in your cubbie, she isn't messing around.

Maybe no one said the word "bully"

but I think we all know that's what Miss Erica was trying to call me at parent/teacher conferences last night.

I couldn't believe my ears when she told my mom that I have been hitting the smaller infants in our room and sitting on them. There was no way I could defend myself given that my mom caught me pushing Annabelle off a music stool and taking over the mini piano that very morning. So, I guess I'm busted.

But, could I just take a brief moment to defend myself? Okay, okay, I know it is wrong to hit. I know I'm bigger than pretty much everyone but Conor. I know I wouldn't like it if someone did those things to me.

Here's the thing, though. Someone did do those things to me. Have you not heard of Mackenzie or Julian? This is a rite of passage. I was led to believe that the big kids are supposed to pick on the little kids.

I'm not going to throw an ugly accusation like "hazing" around, but let's be honest; we all have to pay our dues. It makes us stronger. It makes us bond. After a little crying, Annabelle and I are closer than ever and she knows that I get first dibs on the music stool.

If Regina George and Cady Heron can make it work,
I'm fairly certain Annabelle and I can, too.

Maybe I need to work on my intimidation tactics. Maybe an infant who is secure in her seniority doesn't have to be so forceful. I will focus on honing my skills over the next few weeks so that I really leave my mark on the newbies before my transition to the toddler room in December.

Halloween part deux

Even though I dressed up on Saturday, too, today is actually Halloween. Please do not be confused.

I decided to give Olivia another try today. I was not, however, interested in another photo shoot at home.

 

Just because I make reruns look good,
it doesn't mean I want to be photographed
in the same outfit twice.

When I got to school and saw Annabelle in her pink bunny costume, though, it was on! So what if her dad wanted to get a photo of by herself? He sees her everyday and I'm fairly certain he doesn't have any photos of me, yet. So I got in the shot. Make that shots. Unless he wants to commit a good 45 minutes to editing everything in Photoshop tonight, I'm going to be in the family albums for years. To make sure all of the frames were usable, I stood perfectly still for him (a privilege I never afford my mom).

The rest of the costumes at school were pretty typical. No fewer than four Supermen, a lot of cats and princesses. You get the picture.

Our Halloween "party" (trick-or-treating at a retirement home) invitation limited our options a bit by not allowing

 

1. Masks
2. Scary costumes
3. Weapons of any kind
4. High heels (has this been a problem in the past?)

Miss Erica clearly lost her invitation because her adult Little Red Riding Hood costume absolutely violated rules two and four. Yikes! She tried to get me excited about her outfit by telling me that we were both wearing red but it didn't fly. I don't need my outfit compared to someone who is totally past her prime. Maybe next year, rule number five should address the cleavage issue.

Birthday Bear

Today is my first birthday. Last weekend, I hosted an event for close friends and family in my home. The party was so great that some people didn't leave for three days. I felt like Swag.

Dinosaur shirt and a perfectly pointed toe in sneaks.
This is birthday fashion done right.

 

The event planned at the learning center this afternoon will be less exclusive. Because it is taking place in the infant room, I have no control over the guest list. Everyone is invited. Whatever. I still get to wear a paper crown, bask in the glory that is the Happy Birthday song and eat the delicious banana cupcakes my mom made for the occasion, as long as Miss Jazmin doesn't hog dog them all herself.

Is there anyway we could hide these in the back
until Miss Jazmin leaves for the day?

As I reflect on my year on Earth, I remember the good times, like the first time I wore Diane Von Furstenberg, and the not so good times, like the weeks preceding all six of my teeth. It's been quite a ride. I can't wait to see where I'll be and who I'll be wearing this time next year.

Have I mentioned that Julian bit me, yet?

Because he totally did.

Miss Erica tried to keep it confidential and tell my mom that an anonymous infant who is moving to the toddler room this week was the biter. Duh. My mom isn't an idiot. Only one giant baby is transitioning this week.

I won't say it didn't hurt, I won't say I didn't cry, but I will say that I was brave and strong and that I didn't bite him back. I'll let the bigguns take care of him.

You know where you are? You're in the toddler room, baby!

Warming up to a new smell

Last week, while my mom was getting me settled in my awesome new car seat, we saw Miss Miho. She came over to our car to say hello and I was so excited that I lost it a little bit. Okay, I lost it a lot. I couldn't control my emotions at all. I tried to hug her but instead I just screamed and sobbed. It was difficult for everyone involved. The scene was pretty embarrassing.

That night, while I was post gaming my day with my dinosaur, Vanessa, I tried to figure out what was really upsetting me. Of course Miss Miho is the coolest, but I think it's so much more than that.

There I was, in my big kid car seat, not an infant carrier, seeing my favorite old infant teacher after a day of watching Conor and Ben walk around without holding anything for support. Annabelle is starting to crawl and wear somewhat stylish clothes (but she still doesn't have hair). I realized that we're all growing up and heading towards the next phase.

The transition to the toddler room happens sometime after a baby turns one. We have to be big enough to walk and attach our own nose plug. Ben is 15 months and transitioning this week. Since he just turned one, Conor will be next. I am 11 months and 5 days. I know I'm on my way.

Toddlers must provide their own blankie, sippy cup and nose plug

I considered faking extended infancy - starting to beg for a pacifier, regressing to only rolling instead of crawling and pulling up, refusing any food that isn't rice cereal - but I realized that, like Miss Miho, we all have to move on at some point. So I took my literal and figurative first steps towards toddlerhood this weekend.

After I saw the reaction I got from my parents (totally wrapped around my little finger) I think I'm going to keep it up. Yes, they'll eventually make me move on to the abhorrent toddler room but if I'm lucky, they might buy me some new walking shoes, too.

Hello, Goodbye

I’d like to welcome Baby Ryan and Baby Blake to the infant room. They’re okay but I’m going to confidentially agree with Angelina Jolie and politely describe them as personality-less blobs. In fact, they’re pretty much interchangeable. I kind of remember what it was like to be that little but I don’t think I was as boring as they are.

Unfortunately, I think Ryan and Blake (who, together, sound like soccer players in an 80’s movie) might have chased Miss Miho off. When I returned from a recent teething fever, she was nowhere to be found.

After crying and clinging to my mom for three days at drop off, she finally wised up and asked after Miss Miho.  It turns out, she has moved to the center across the street and has been replaced by Miss Jazmin. That ‘z’ is not a typo.

Miss Jazmin is fine but she wears scrubs instead of sassy leggings. Her hair is always in a sloppy pony tail, instead of adorable side swept bangs. She doesn’t get in the way during music time but she also doesn’t report to the moms which infants like to dance and shake our booties. Sigh. I miss my Miho.

Missing

Could somebody please get me a milk carton? My favorite onesie seems to be missing. You would know it if you saw it.

When you grow out of your clothes every six weeks,
it is pretty upsetting to go even one day without access to a fav.

I wore it to school yesterday and came home in a different outfit. Granted, that happens from time to time, but the adorable blue checked shorts that went with it made it home without the crab onesie. Miss Erica claims that my accident yesterday was so bad that it might have been put in the wash at the center before being returned. I was not under the impression that the center had a "mess" limit to what they sent home for my mom to launder.

If it isn't in my cubbie by the end of the week, I'm going to have to have a serious talk with Annabelle. She's the only other infant who can fit in my clothes and I know she's been trying to copy my style.

Caught by the paparazzi

Guess who FINALLY made it into the monthly newsletter?!?! I've been at the learning center for five months and this is my first credited photo.

No offense to my mom, but my goal for the summer is to
make it into the newsletter without her sharing my spotlight.


I have a couple of people to thank, beginning with my mom, who appears with me in the photo, taken at the center's Mommy and Me Day. I'd also like to thank Miss Erica for having the camera ready at just the right moment.

Here's hoping this is just the first of many, many appearances to come.

First the moon landing, now this

I'm not generally one to get into conspiracy theories, but I have a feeling that Miss Miho wanted to teach me a lesson about being gone so long. My mom has stocked my cubbie full of coordinating separates and yet, this was the outfit I was put in after a rather unfortunate blowout. 

This is almost enough to shame me out of future accidents.

Oh well, at least Conor missed me. He was waiting for me in the padded climbing area, as usual, this morning. I was received less kindly by Molly, who sat on me and totally tried to play it off like it was unintentional. Whatever. It's still good to be back.

Stranger Danger

Let's face it, Miss Miho is tops.  She has a sweet, soft voice and super cute outfits. This morning, Miss Erica pulled my mom aside (less than discreetly, I might add) to let her know that I'm not doing so well with "new" people, like the class picture photographer and the student teacher in our room. Basically, when I meet someone new who doesn't impress me, it takes nothing less than the sight of Miss Miho's leggings to calm me down.

Maybe if more people were like Miss Miho, I'd like more people. We all have our favorites. What can I say? Currently, very few people meet my high standards. Call it a phase, if you will, but I think my selective nature is going to serve me well as I grow up

Besides, hasn't Miss Erica seen "I Know My First Name is Steven" I think small screen star Corin Nemec would agree that a little bit of stranger danger never hurts. 

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week

A very happy Teacher Appreciation Week to Miss Erica, Miss Miho and Miss Megan. To pamper our teachers, the parents at the learning center provided coffee and donuts this morning. Apparently, they have some other tricks up their sleeves, as well. I certainly hope so because donuts aren't really a gift and coffee is pretty much free, as long as you have access to a bank lobby anywhere in the United States. You might as well give them a handful of Brach's hard candy.

I'm expecting something a little more along the lines of fresh,
French pastries when it is time to appreciate me.

The weird thing is, I reviewed the calendar several times and I haven't been able to locate the dates for Infant Appreciation Week. I know it has to exist because none of these people would have anyone to teach without us. Maybe it is supposed to be a surprise.

Way to creep me out, Miss Erica

When she remembers, Miss Erica puts together a monthly newsletter about the goings on in the Bugs classroom. March's newsletter, which came out mid-April, was a mixed bag. While I wasn't featured in any of the photos, I was excited to see that my boyfriend, Conor (with one "n"), made the cut. I only wish someone could make the photos look a little bit less like they were taken from a van across the street.