Princess culture has gone too far

I have no problem being feminine. For instance, check out my most adorbs lavender flower print jacket below. The pattern is perfect with striped pants. I don't care what you say.

That being said, I'll admit that I tend to avoid all things princess. I don't know why being prissy and helpless are the same as being girlie to so many of my contemporaries. As a female who wants to grow up knowing how to tie my own shoes and balance my checkbook (two important skills for any modern lady), the whole culture leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I could never be bothered to sit down and watch Disney's Sleeping Beauty because a 1950's film about a heroine who does nothing but sleep while she grows perfect hair is laughable, at best. So, I'm willing to admit the problem could be ignorance on my end, but Sleeping Beauty just seems out of place at the park.



Over it.

 

Listen, I'm all about expressing your personal style. It's just that a mass marketed, glorified Halloween costume seems neither personal nor stylish. It isn't exactly functional, either.

Sleeping Beauty's poufy dress hardly fits through the climbing tunnel. All of that tulle only serves to trip her while she stumbles from the climbing structure to the swings. Frankly, she's a hazard to the kids who are at the playground to run, climb and burn off a little steam from our stressful weeks.

Come to the park to play. Come to the park to get dirty. Come to the park to judge others. Just don't come to the park expecting me to call you Aurora and step aside for the princess if I was in line for the slide before you.

Farewell, my Batman cape wearing love

Conor is moving. Today is his last day. I am heartbroken.



And that's all I have to say about that.

Farewell, Conor

This is a hard one for me. Conor is completing his transition to the toddler room today. He was my nemesis, my boyfriend, my buddy and my partner in crime all in one.

We met when I was three months and he was four months old. Ten and a half months later, we've gone through an awful lot together. Without Conor, I might never have learned to crawl or walk. I'll admit that I've spent a lot of my time at the learning center trying to keep up with him.

We didn't always get along. Most mornings, we fought for Miss Erica's attention. When she picked one of us up, the other would whine and pull on her pants until she picked up the other one, too. I was never interested in a toy or book until Conor wanted it and vice versa.

Once or twice during Conor's transition, Miss Susan has allowed me to join him in the toddler room. I think it reminds us that we'll be together again soon. I've even had the chance to reconnect with Ben a bit. The toddler room has great toys, fun things to climb and I'll admit that I'm starting to like the idea of sitting down to a meal with friends.

For now, though, I'm the last of the old crew in the infant room. Until January, I'll keep getting older while the new babies stay the same age. Sigh.

I guess you can just call me
"Wooderson" from now on.

Hello, Goodbye

I’d like to welcome Baby Ryan and Baby Blake to the infant room. They’re okay but I’m going to confidentially agree with Angelina Jolie and politely describe them as personality-less blobs. In fact, they’re pretty much interchangeable. I kind of remember what it was like to be that little but I don’t think I was as boring as they are.

Unfortunately, I think Ryan and Blake (who, together, sound like soccer players in an 80’s movie) might have chased Miss Miho off. When I returned from a recent teething fever, she was nowhere to be found.

After crying and clinging to my mom for three days at drop off, she finally wised up and asked after Miss Miho.  It turns out, she has moved to the center across the street and has been replaced by Miss Jazmin. That ‘z’ is not a typo.

Miss Jazmin is fine but she wears scrubs instead of sassy leggings. Her hair is always in a sloppy pony tail, instead of adorable side swept bangs. She doesn’t get in the way during music time but she also doesn’t report to the moms which infants like to dance and shake our booties. Sigh. I miss my Miho.

Farewell, Mr. Jarrod

In honor of my last Wiggleworms class yesterday, I'd like to provide a list of songs that Mr. Jarrod found appropriate for marching time that I found questionable at best.

1. Everybody Must Get Stoned - Bob Dylan
2. I wish - Skee-Lo
3. Waterfalls - TLC (but only the verse about the drug dealer who gets murdered)

My mom thought it was cool that Mr. Jarrod worked some more contemporary tunes into the repertoire. This might be one of those eye opening moments when I realize how very uncool my mom actually is.

For the record, this is what my mom considers "contemporary"

 Mr. Jarrod finished strong with a Beatles heavy final class. I particularly liked marching to Your Mother Should Know. Paul McCartney and Mr. Jarrod are totally right. My mother was born a long, long time ago.

Happy birthday and possible farewell, Molly!

On our way into the learning center this morning, Molly's older brother, Aiden, stopped my mom and me to let us know that it is Molly's birthday. Duh, like I don't check the birthday board every month to see who will be coming up on the big day next.

Ordinarily, those Beauty and the Beast cupcakes with the hot pink icing would almost certainly signal that Molly was getting ready to transition to the toddler room. There is nothing ordinary about this first birthday celebration, though.

I can't help feeling like this whole party is a sham.

Rumors are swirling that Molly and her brothers are leaving the learning center. My mom has tried to maintain her status as a lady by playing dumb about the subject. She casually asked Miss Erica if Molly and Ben (who recently celebrated the big 1) would be moving rooms soon. Miss Erica confirmed Ben's pending departure (bummer) and said that Molly was leaving the center but wouldn't provide further details.

Molly's mom, Amanda, has been present for drop off all this week but her very nervous and freckly Irish grandmother has been in from Florida with Amanda's minivan every day at drop off. Totally bizarre.

No mention of Molly's final day at the learning center has been made to us, her classmates. So I guess we're all just supposed to sit around at lunch time today, sing happy birthday, watch big kids eat cupcakes and pretend like nothing weird is happening. This will be a true test of social graces for me, as playing it cool isn't exactly my nature.

No farewell post necessary

I hardly feel like this is worth reporting, but Stupid Connor is moving to a learning center closer to his mom's new office. I think his last day was sometime last week or the week before. He probably had to leave twice because no one noticed the first time.

No, really. On Friday, my mom told Miss Erica that she hasn't seen him in awhile and Miss Erica let her know that he was no longer with us. I had to look around the room a couple of times to confirm that he wasn't there.  I thought the infant room had been cooler lately, but I hadn't taken the time to figure out why.

This is usually the point in the farewell post where I would list Stupid Connor's contributions to the room and tell my readers why he would be missed. Honestly, I've got nothing. It seems that Miss Erica is holding out hope, though, because she hasn't taken his construction paper balloon with his name and information off of the birthday board, yet.

Farewell, Mackenzie

Today was Mackenzie's last full day in the infant room. She begins her transition to the toddler room (gross) on Monday. As she moves on to the next phase in her life, I find myself reflecting on our relationship.

When I first met Mackenzie, she seemed very cold. She was already crawling and much more interested in playing with the likes of Kendall and Molly than some little 12 week old baby who couldn't even roll from back to front. She pretty much ignored me and her mom, Vicki (that's right, with an "i"), pretty much ignored my mom.

It became clear I was dealing with a couple of queen bees, here. Vicki and Amanda (Molly's mom) pretty much run the center's parents' group and it was obvious that their daughters were following in their footsteps.

As I grew up a little and assured Mackenzie I wasn't going anywhere, she warmed up to me quite a bit. When I started using the Rainforest Jumperoo and she was starting to walk, she even approached me for some eye-level playtime. She must have been babbling about me at home, because her mom finally introduced herself to my mom (nice manners) and started warming up, too. It turns out that Vicki is really friendly and must have just been too busy to say "Hi" (for six weeks).



The Rainforest Jumperoo - bringing infants together one bounce at a time

In the following days, Mackenzie showed her approval by taking my bag from my cubbie, trying to walk off with my bottles and stealing my mom's shoes every day at drop-off and pick-up. It was clear that my mom and I were the place to be. Mackenzie wanted everything that we had. One day, she climbed into my carrier in an attempt to get my mom to take her home with us. Smooth move, Mackenzie, smooth move. 

I wouldn't say that Mackenzie and I became besties, but we've certainly grown to appreciate each other and what we have to offer to the classroom.  Her presence will be missed in the infant room.