Celebrity sighting?

I'm fairly certain that Kendall's dad is Peter Sarsgaard poorly disguised by a fitted knit cap but how can I prove it?

Work has been slow since Orphan.
Kendall's dad has plenty of time to do the morning drop off.

Fancy feast

If you're too old to remember a time when you found flip flops to be a culinary delight, let me refresh your memory. To an infant, the bottom of a flip flop is like warm goat cheese and red pepper spread - comforting and spicy.

The average infant finds these items equally appealing

I generally try to stick to my own parents' footwear. Think of it like buying from a local farmer. I value knowing where my food came from. Other infants aren't as discriminating, though, and have been known to make a run for any shoe, sandal or snow boot that any parent takes off when they enter the classroom.

This morning, my mom went through the usual routine at drop off. She took off my jean jacket, put my lunch in the fridge and stocked my cubbie with extra onesies. When she turned around, Ben and I were standing over Conor, who won the race to my mom's flip flops.

Fair is fair. Conor got to my mom's shoes first and totally had the right to bite the straps and lick the bottom. I think he crossed a line, however, when he spit up all over the left flop. Gross. I'm so sure my mom wants to walk around sticking to his Up and Up brand formula goo for the rest of the day. The tissue Miss Erica gave her might have removed the physical offense, but my mother will have to carry the shame in her memory for the rest of her life.

Warming up to a new smell

Last week, while my mom was getting me settled in my awesome new car seat, we saw Miss Miho. She came over to our car to say hello and I was so excited that I lost it a little bit. Okay, I lost it a lot. I couldn't control my emotions at all. I tried to hug her but instead I just screamed and sobbed. It was difficult for everyone involved. The scene was pretty embarrassing.

That night, while I was post gaming my day with my dinosaur, Vanessa, I tried to figure out what was really upsetting me. Of course Miss Miho is the coolest, but I think it's so much more than that.

There I was, in my big kid car seat, not an infant carrier, seeing my favorite old infant teacher after a day of watching Conor and Ben walk around without holding anything for support. Annabelle is starting to crawl and wear somewhat stylish clothes (but she still doesn't have hair). I realized that we're all growing up and heading towards the next phase.

The transition to the toddler room happens sometime after a baby turns one. We have to be big enough to walk and attach our own nose plug. Ben is 15 months and transitioning this week. Since he just turned one, Conor will be next. I am 11 months and 5 days. I know I'm on my way.

Toddlers must provide their own blankie, sippy cup and nose plug

I considered faking extended infancy - starting to beg for a pacifier, regressing to only rolling instead of crawling and pulling up, refusing any food that isn't rice cereal - but I realized that, like Miss Miho, we all have to move on at some point. So I took my literal and figurative first steps towards toddlerhood this weekend.

After I saw the reaction I got from my parents (totally wrapped around my little finger) I think I'm going to keep it up. Yes, they'll eventually make me move on to the abhorrent toddler room but if I'm lucky, they might buy me some new walking shoes, too.

Fall is finally here!

According to every adult I talk to, autumn is the very best season to live in Chicago. Personally, I wouldn't know. I spent most of my first and only autumn swaddled on my mom's lap watching her boyfriend, Billy Bush, dissect Kim Kardashian's divorce with Kit Hoover.

It's gross.

 
This fall is going to be different, though. I have big plans. Just one month from today, I am going to be one year old and I'm taking autumn by storm.

Of course, there will be the dinosaur themed birthday party but I'm looking forward to hosting an event for the presidential election on November 6, too. The majority of the returns should be in before I go to bed at 7:00, right?

I'm also going to entertain several visitors throughout the season and sample some new cuisine with my guests. To protect their privacy, I won't get into specifics but let's just say a few sets of grandparents and an aunt or uncle may or may not be making an appearance.

Finally, being completely over the summer festival scene, I'm excited to explore the fruits of fall at the upcoming Apple Fest and Harvest Days.

In my downtime, I plan to pour over September Vogue and dream of the future, when I'm allowed to wear boots and watch serious movies, which I'm told are the real highlights of autumn.

Sweater cape? Check. Dinosaurs? Check check. Ready for fall? Super check.

Hello, Goodbye

I’d like to welcome Baby Ryan and Baby Blake to the infant room. They’re okay but I’m going to confidentially agree with Angelina Jolie and politely describe them as personality-less blobs. In fact, they’re pretty much interchangeable. I kind of remember what it was like to be that little but I don’t think I was as boring as they are.

Unfortunately, I think Ryan and Blake (who, together, sound like soccer players in an 80’s movie) might have chased Miss Miho off. When I returned from a recent teething fever, she was nowhere to be found.

After crying and clinging to my mom for three days at drop off, she finally wised up and asked after Miss Miho.  It turns out, she has moved to the center across the street and has been replaced by Miss Jazmin. That ‘z’ is not a typo.

Miss Jazmin is fine but she wears scrubs instead of sassy leggings. Her hair is always in a sloppy pony tail, instead of adorable side swept bangs. She doesn’t get in the way during music time but she also doesn’t report to the moms which infants like to dance and shake our booties. Sigh. I miss my Miho.

Farewell, Mr. Jarrod

In honor of my last Wiggleworms class yesterday, I'd like to provide a list of songs that Mr. Jarrod found appropriate for marching time that I found questionable at best.

1. Everybody Must Get Stoned - Bob Dylan
2. I wish - Skee-Lo
3. Waterfalls - TLC (but only the verse about the drug dealer who gets murdered)

My mom thought it was cool that Mr. Jarrod worked some more contemporary tunes into the repertoire. This might be one of those eye opening moments when I realize how very uncool my mom actually is.

For the record, this is what my mom considers "contemporary"

 Mr. Jarrod finished strong with a Beatles heavy final class. I particularly liked marching to Your Mother Should Know. Paul McCartney and Mr. Jarrod are totally right. My mother was born a long, long time ago.

August update

First of all, I feel the need to apologize for not writing in awhile. My August has been insane but life happens and I shouldn't use that as an excuse to shirk my responsibilities to my fans. Here are a few updates to get us all caught up.

Ben has been on vacation for three weeks. Three weeks! I'm not here to judge, but it sounds like one of his parents got fired or something. Who has time to take a vacation that long?

 A good example of what someone might do on a three week "vacation"

A new baby has joined the infant room. His name is Julian. He is insanely huge. His mom, let's just call her Rosie Perez, is super mean and clearly never encouraged him to move on his own. At 11 months old, he still isn't crawling and a look of terror crosses his face every day when Rosie Perez picks him up.


Julian on a recent getaway

Between Annabelle, who still isn't mobile (and is still suspected of stealing my crab onesie) and Julian, pickens are pretty slim. So, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I've been hanging out with Conor in Ben's absence. I'm totally not falling for him again but now that I can pull up and hold onto things with one hand, we're enjoying each other's company more. He's more of a confidant than a crush. A Ducky to my Andie.

According to Miss Erica's classroom calendar, Ben is due back next week. I'm looking forward to spending a little time with him before he transitions to the toddler room.