Farewell, Mr. Jarrod

In honor of my last Wiggleworms class yesterday, I'd like to provide a list of songs that Mr. Jarrod found appropriate for marching time that I found questionable at best.

1. Everybody Must Get Stoned - Bob Dylan
2. I wish - Skee-Lo
3. Waterfalls - TLC (but only the verse about the drug dealer who gets murdered)

My mom thought it was cool that Mr. Jarrod worked some more contemporary tunes into the repertoire. This might be one of those eye opening moments when I realize how very uncool my mom actually is.

For the record, this is what my mom considers "contemporary"

 Mr. Jarrod finished strong with a Beatles heavy final class. I particularly liked marching to Your Mother Should Know. Paul McCartney and Mr. Jarrod are totally right. My mother was born a long, long time ago.

August update

First of all, I feel the need to apologize for not writing in awhile. My August has been insane but life happens and I shouldn't use that as an excuse to shirk my responsibilities to my fans. Here are a few updates to get us all caught up.

Ben has been on vacation for three weeks. Three weeks! I'm not here to judge, but it sounds like one of his parents got fired or something. Who has time to take a vacation that long?

 A good example of what someone might do on a three week "vacation"

A new baby has joined the infant room. His name is Julian. He is insanely huge. His mom, let's just call her Rosie Perez, is super mean and clearly never encouraged him to move on his own. At 11 months old, he still isn't crawling and a look of terror crosses his face every day when Rosie Perez picks him up.


Julian on a recent getaway

Between Annabelle, who still isn't mobile (and is still suspected of stealing my crab onesie) and Julian, pickens are pretty slim. So, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I've been hanging out with Conor in Ben's absence. I'm totally not falling for him again but now that I can pull up and hold onto things with one hand, we're enjoying each other's company more. He's more of a confidant than a crush. A Ducky to my Andie.

According to Miss Erica's classroom calendar, Ben is due back next week. I'm looking forward to spending a little time with him before he transitions to the toddler room.

Somebody call Joe Francis

Because apparently, Mackenzie thinks breakfast time in the toddler room is the perfect setting to go topless.

I know it's hot. We all know it's hot. That's why the rest of us are wearing sundresses and hanging out indoors. She's like one of those guys driving down Lawrence Avenue in a 1990 Grand Am with all of their windows down wearing no shirt. The rest of us have managed to stay cool AND dressed. At this point, you're just showing off.

A beauty like this doesn't need your help to be a fashion statement.

There is simply no reason to take your shirt off and giggle at all of the parents who politely attempt to avert their eyes while they cut through the toddler room. A little decency, please. There are Cheerios being served, for goodness sake!

Ongoing toddler nastiness

This will be short and sweet because I am still in shock from weirdness that just happened.

When my mom and I cut through the toddler room at drop off this morning, Amelia wrapped her arms around my mom's legs and licked her skirt. I can't wrap my head around the nastiness. Savages.

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy but could I maybe taste your fabric, lady?

A little variety would be nice

Yesterday was my third of eight Wiggleworm classes and I think it's time we discuss the elephant in the room. Ascher was wearing his green shorts AGAIN. Three Sundays in a row this kid has worn the same bottoms.

Are they the only summer pants that fit? Does he have an accident before class, forcing him to wear the same backup pair each week? If his laundry cycle puts the green shorts on Sunday every week, why are the shorts always paired with a different shirt ?

It is almost cartoon like how this kid wears the same pants every time I see him.

My mom bought me a pair of boy's shorts at Carters, once. She pretends it was an accident but I know it was totally intentional. I digress. The point is that I know from experience that a male infant in this city can get a pair of shorts for five dollars, easy. That's the cost of one triple venti no whip white mocha at the Starbucks across the street. I'd be willing to give up one coffee a week in the name of fashion.

Happy birthday and possible farewell, Molly!

On our way into the learning center this morning, Molly's older brother, Aiden, stopped my mom and me to let us know that it is Molly's birthday. Duh, like I don't check the birthday board every month to see who will be coming up on the big day next.

Ordinarily, those Beauty and the Beast cupcakes with the hot pink icing would almost certainly signal that Molly was getting ready to transition to the toddler room. There is nothing ordinary about this first birthday celebration, though.

I can't help feeling like this whole party is a sham.

Rumors are swirling that Molly and her brothers are leaving the learning center. My mom has tried to maintain her status as a lady by playing dumb about the subject. She casually asked Miss Erica if Molly and Ben (who recently celebrated the big 1) would be moving rooms soon. Miss Erica confirmed Ben's pending departure (bummer) and said that Molly was leaving the center but wouldn't provide further details.

Molly's mom, Amanda, has been present for drop off all this week but her very nervous and freckly Irish grandmother has been in from Florida with Amanda's minivan every day at drop off. Totally bizarre.

No mention of Molly's final day at the learning center has been made to us, her classmates. So I guess we're all just supposed to sit around at lunch time today, sing happy birthday, watch big kids eat cupcakes and pretend like nothing weird is happening. This will be a true test of social graces for me, as playing it cool isn't exactly my nature.

No farewell post necessary

I hardly feel like this is worth reporting, but Stupid Connor is moving to a learning center closer to his mom's new office. I think his last day was sometime last week or the week before. He probably had to leave twice because no one noticed the first time.

No, really. On Friday, my mom told Miss Erica that she hasn't seen him in awhile and Miss Erica let her know that he was no longer with us. I had to look around the room a couple of times to confirm that he wasn't there.  I thought the infant room had been cooler lately, but I hadn't taken the time to figure out why.

This is usually the point in the farewell post where I would list Stupid Connor's contributions to the room and tell my readers why he would be missed. Honestly, I've got nothing. It seems that Miss Erica is holding out hope, though, because she hasn't taken his construction paper balloon with his name and information off of the birthday board, yet.