Update: Found!!!

My missing Darth Vader was recovered. Mr. Michael told my mom that Darth Vader was found in the bin with Mr. Potato Head and his bucket of farts parts.

Okay, whatever, Mr. Michael. I know you took him home for a couple of weeks to hang out with your Bow action figure. For now, I'll turn a blind eye, since I got him back. Don't let it happen again.



Oh, yeah, totally. I can absolutely see how
a Sith Lord could get lost in here.
 

I hope you like Jingle Bells

because if you go to the learning center holiday concert, you're going to hear it three times. Yes, it is the easiest song on Earth to remember but I know a great song about snow that I would have happily performed if I knew everyone was going to be singing the same thing. Honesty, though, song selection was the least of our problems.

In the past, the youngest kids who participated were the two year olds. This year, in a bold and brave move, the toddlers were allowed to perform. Total disaster. All they had to do was shake something that kind of made a jingling sound while their background accompaniment (a tape made circa 1992) played a short and sweet version of Jingle Bells. Somehow, they still couldn't hack it.

Gavan didn't even make it to the stage (which was really just the circle time carpet from the two year old room) before he started balling and walked away to sit on his mom's lap. She ended up getting up to dance with him. Annabelle is the oldest in the room and should be expected to bring her A game, or at least be a good example for the others. Instead, she decided to lie on the floor and roll around. Ryan surprisingly gave a command performance. Not only did he stand still and face the audience but he also did the appropriate dance moves at the appropriate time. His mom is pregnant, so I think Ryan was trying to remind her that she should still love him after the new baby comes.

The two year old room was a little more mature about the whole production. We crafted hand-made reindeer hats and sang three songs (only one of them was Jingle Bells). While I did leave the stage at one point to greet my parents, I certainly wasn't crying.

I should have known that someone as fabulous as me
could never really blend in. Oh well, worth a try.

Is that Linda McCartney I see over there?
 

By the end of the show, even I couldn't sit still.
Sometimes, you just gotta dance.

 

There isn't much to say about the preschool kids. They were "eh" for me. I couldn't tell what their construction paper hats were supposed to be and I didn't find it necessary to hear every.single.verse. of Feliz Navidad droned by a bunch of drowsy three to five year olds.

The bright spot in the evening was the extensive snack table that was set up in the back of the room. After the show and photo ops, I got to have a piece of chocolate cake AND a cup of juice before going home for dinner.

Upon my arrival at home, I politely asked my mom to put my stuffed eggplant in the garbage and give me cookies and crackers in its place. Apparently, that doesn't fly in my house, but I'm going to keep pushing for a vote in meal planning over the holiday season.

Neither shown nor told

This is my Darth Vader action figure. I'm sharing him with you today because he is my favorite character from my favorite book, The Star Wars Storybook.

His character is brave and mysterious. His action figure is tough. I have not been able to bite his head off, despite multiple attempts.

Darth Vader is the father of one of my feminist role models, Senator Leia Organa, and his dedication to his cause, The Dark Side, makes him a good role model, too. He is better than Luke Skywalker because he takes action, instead of just whining all the time. It was easy to bite Luke Skywalker's head off of his action figure.

You may pass him around and touch his cape. You do not need to be gentle (remember, he is tough). Please do not try to eat his awesome red light saber, though.

 

 

. . . is what I would have said if I had actually participated in Show and Tell. Instead, I brought my Darth Vader action figure to school, sat with him a breakfast, lost him sometime during the day, silently listened to the four kids in the Two's room who remembered their treasured items, and lied to my mom about my presentation.

Thanks a lot, Miss Nydia, for narcing me out to my mom and telling her that I didn't even let you know that I brought something to school today. Thank you, too, for not helping me find my lost action figure, even though you didn't know he was present that day in the first place.

I intend to ask my mom about Darth Vader every day until she finds him. I keep telling her that I left him in Adrian's bag but it isn't true. It's just part of the game. If you think I'll disclose his true location here, where my mom could read it, you've clearly lost your mind.

Message received, Mackenzie

When most see a fellow two-year-old having a rough drop off, they try to help. They offer a toy, a snack, or a hug. Mackenzie is clearly out to set herself apart from the rest.

I didn't sleep well last night and was disinterested in letting my mom go when we arrived at the learning center. Breakfast was being served at a big, open table where only one kid, Mackenzie, was sitting.

My mom suggested that I could sit by Mackenzie and have a snack. It was worth a try. As soon as I sat down, though, Mackenzie stood up and moved one chair away. Naturally, I got up and moved closer to her. She stood up and moved away again. So, again, I got up and moved closer to her.

After one more attempt, my mom suggested that it might be fun just to sit at the same table as Mackenzie, even if we weren't right next to each other. My mom and I have a very different idea of fun.