Somebody call Joe Francis

Because apparently, Mackenzie thinks breakfast time in the toddler room is the perfect setting to go topless.

I know it's hot. We all know it's hot. That's why the rest of us are wearing sundresses and hanging out indoors. She's like one of those guys driving down Lawrence Avenue in a 1990 Grand Am with all of their windows down wearing no shirt. The rest of us have managed to stay cool AND dressed. At this point, you're just showing off.

A beauty like this doesn't need your help to be a fashion statement.

There is simply no reason to take your shirt off and giggle at all of the parents who politely attempt to avert their eyes while they cut through the toddler room. A little decency, please. There are Cheerios being served, for goodness sake!

Ongoing toddler nastiness

This will be short and sweet because I am still in shock from weirdness that just happened.

When my mom and I cut through the toddler room at drop off this morning, Amelia wrapped her arms around my mom's legs and licked her skirt. I can't wrap my head around the nastiness. Savages.

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy but could I maybe taste your fabric, lady?

A little variety would be nice

Yesterday was my third of eight Wiggleworm classes and I think it's time we discuss the elephant in the room. Ascher was wearing his green shorts AGAIN. Three Sundays in a row this kid has worn the same bottoms.

Are they the only summer pants that fit? Does he have an accident before class, forcing him to wear the same backup pair each week? If his laundry cycle puts the green shorts on Sunday every week, why are the shorts always paired with a different shirt ?

It is almost cartoon like how this kid wears the same pants every time I see him.

My mom bought me a pair of boy's shorts at Carters, once. She pretends it was an accident but I know it was totally intentional. I digress. The point is that I know from experience that a male infant in this city can get a pair of shorts for five dollars, easy. That's the cost of one triple venti no whip white mocha at the Starbucks across the street. I'd be willing to give up one coffee a week in the name of fashion.

Happy birthday and possible farewell, Molly!

On our way into the learning center this morning, Molly's older brother, Aiden, stopped my mom and me to let us know that it is Molly's birthday. Duh, like I don't check the birthday board every month to see who will be coming up on the big day next.

Ordinarily, those Beauty and the Beast cupcakes with the hot pink icing would almost certainly signal that Molly was getting ready to transition to the toddler room. There is nothing ordinary about this first birthday celebration, though.

I can't help feeling like this whole party is a sham.

Rumors are swirling that Molly and her brothers are leaving the learning center. My mom has tried to maintain her status as a lady by playing dumb about the subject. She casually asked Miss Erica if Molly and Ben (who recently celebrated the big 1) would be moving rooms soon. Miss Erica confirmed Ben's pending departure (bummer) and said that Molly was leaving the center but wouldn't provide further details.

Molly's mom, Amanda, has been present for drop off all this week but her very nervous and freckly Irish grandmother has been in from Florida with Amanda's minivan every day at drop off. Totally bizarre.

No mention of Molly's final day at the learning center has been made to us, her classmates. So I guess we're all just supposed to sit around at lunch time today, sing happy birthday, watch big kids eat cupcakes and pretend like nothing weird is happening. This will be a true test of social graces for me, as playing it cool isn't exactly my nature.

No farewell post necessary

I hardly feel like this is worth reporting, but Stupid Connor is moving to a learning center closer to his mom's new office. I think his last day was sometime last week or the week before. He probably had to leave twice because no one noticed the first time.

No, really. On Friday, my mom told Miss Erica that she hasn't seen him in awhile and Miss Erica let her know that he was no longer with us. I had to look around the room a couple of times to confirm that he wasn't there.  I thought the infant room had been cooler lately, but I hadn't taken the time to figure out why.

This is usually the point in the farewell post where I would list Stupid Connor's contributions to the room and tell my readers why he would be missed. Honestly, I've got nothing. It seems that Miss Erica is holding out hope, though, because she hasn't taken his construction paper balloon with his name and information off of the birthday board, yet.

Finally dropped those extra 19 pounds

This morning, I arrived at the learning center a little early so that I could have some time alone with Conor. It was time for us to have our big talk. I wore my red sundress for extra confidence. I decided to have the conversation over a pile of our favorite blocks. He pulled my hair, stole a block and took off. That's all I needed. This relationship is officially over. I'm pretty sure he won't even notice.

Whatever. I've moved on to Ben. Instead of stealing my toys, he takes his pacifier out and offers it to me. Yesterday at pickup, Superfreak was playing on the radio and Ben started bouncing up and down. Miss Miho told Ben's mom, "Ben likes to dance and shake his booty." It's about time I'm with a boy who knows how to relax and have a good time.

Dead sexy and dead serious.
We really do listen to Rick James in the infant room.

A busy weekend

I try to keep my weekends pretty open but this week, I had a lot on my plate.

Saturday, my dad took me to Daddy and Me day at the learning center. I was pretty disappointed to see that we were the only ones representing the infant room and that we had to participate in the toddler room activities. It was pretty cool to introduce him to my mentor, Miss Miho, though.

After we did some hand print art and made a door hanger for my room, I gave my dad a tour of my classroom. As a whole, the event was less formal than Mommy and Me day. We quietly exited as the snacks were being presented.

Sunday, I started my Wiggleworms class at the local music school. I wasn't sure what to expect from my classmates, so I dressed to impress in my Diane von Furstenberg LBO (little black onesie). 

I take fashion and drum circles very seriously.

I can probably tone my outfit down a bit next week, considering Levi wore a bib all 45 minutes of class. I have no idea what that was even about. He didn't stop for a snack break or anything. I don't mean to be harsh, but it looked pretty lame. As the only girl in the class, I'll probably have to impart a little style wisdom on the rest of the wiggleworms over the next few weeks.